And the winner is…….. MATT WILKENSON of Portland, Oregon. <link here> When he was showing off his reptile relations with friends, he thought it would be fun to put his pet Eastern Diamondback Rattlesnake into his mouth and make them laugh, it wasn’t quite as amusing after the rattlesnake latched onto the back of his throat and sent venom surging into his body. Wilkenson was put into a medical-induced coma for three days, to give his body time to recover, doctors later told him the snake had shot enough venom in his body to kill as many as 15 people. CONGRATULATIONS MATT, I’ll bet we’ll see you on this list again!
2007 Runners Up: Judge Marilyn Patel <link here> and Jayaprakash Bezbaruah <link here>
2007 Honorable Mentions:
An 18-year-old in Lake Luzerne, N.Y., is wounded in the abdomen while trying to obtain brass scrap for resale. His genius plan: Put bullets in a vise, hold a screwdriver to the primer, and whack the screwdriver with a hammer.
Washington, D.C. judge Roy Pearson sues a local dry-cleaner, claiming they lost his pants. He seeks $65 million. At the trial, Pearson breaks down in tears while testifying he was given the wrong pair of pants. Judge loses case, is not re-appointed to the bench.
Geography 102: Asked why Americans have trouble finding their country on a map, Miss Teen South Carolina answers: “I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don’t have maps. And I believe that our education in such as South Africa and the Iraq and everywhere such as. I believe that our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa and help Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to help our future.”
“I thought Europe was a country. Budapest. I’ve never heard of that. Like, I know they speak French there, don’t they? I wanna say, is France a country?” — Kellie Pickler
Robert Sadlon of Buckstown, Pa., is stopped by a cop in his truck for DUI, runs away, makes it home, changes his clothes, shaves his mustache, and calls 911 to say that his truck had been stolen. When the same cop who had pulled Sadlon over shows up on the stolen truck report, he can see the pale outline of his shaved mustache.
City Hall in Green Bay, Wisc., puts up a Nativity scene. So as not to favor one religion, it adds a Wiccan pentacle wreath. A citizen, who says he would prefer no religious displays at City Hall, then proposes a Festivus Pole, for the faux holiday popularized by “Seinfeld.” Responds the mayor: “This is kind of making a laughing matter of something that’s rather serious.”
3 Comments
January 3, 2008 at 2:12 am
I’d like to nominate the butthead brothers who thought it sporting to swill down some vodka on Christmas day and then bring slingshots to the zoo to show the tigers who was higher on the food chain.
January 3, 2008 at 7:05 am
They came close, and will, I’m sure be on the 2008 list. There just wasn’t enough info on what they did at the time.
January 5, 2009 at 6:27 am
Miss Teen South Carolina answered that question badly, but she’s still got her looks to fall back on…